MANAGING THE FEAR OF LONELINESS
By Stanley Popovich
Sometime or another we will experience a time when we are alone. The
first step is to become comfortable with yourself and having the
self-confidence that you will be able to manage being alone. There is
nothing wrong with being alone. If being alone bothers you then seeing a
counselor can help you with these issues.
In the meantime, here is a short list of techniques that a person can
use so that the fear of being alone doesn’t become a major issue in
their lives.
The first step is to find an activity that you enjoy and where you can
meet a lot of people. For instance, joining a group activity such as a
volleyball group, women’s club, or making crafts can be a great way to
meet people. Doing something that you like to do will make you happy and
will increase your chances of making friends.
Spending time with animals can be a great source of companionship.
Having a dog or cat can make us feel loved. If you don’t own a dog or
cat, then volunteer at the local animal shelter. Spending time with an
animal or pet can help us to feel better and can be of good company to all
of us whether we are alone or not.
Helping others through community service can be of some help. There are
many people out there who could benefit from your time and talents.
Helping others can give you a source of pride, help you feel better about
yourself, and can provide long lasting friendships. Give it a try and you
will be surprised.
Challenge your negative thinking with positive statements and realistic
thinking. When encountering thoughts that make your lonely or depressed,
challenge those thoughts by asking yourself questions that will maintain
objectivity and common sense. For example, some people may think that if
they are alone at the present time then they will always be alone. This is
not true. Even if your alone today doesn’t mean that you will be alone
all the time. No one can predict the future with one hundred percent
accuracy.
It isn’t fun being alone, but sometimes there are worse things. For
instance, imagine that you are married or stuck in a relationship that you
can’t get out of and also makes you miserable. Not only do you have to
live with this person, there is no way to get out of the relationship
because of various financial or personal reasons. As a result, you are
stuck living with someone that you can’t stand and makes you depressed
every single day of your life. With this viewpoint, being alone doesn’t
sound that bad.
The important thing is to do something constructive. Sitting around and
doing nothing will not make things any better whether it is dealing with
the fear of being alone or something else. Go out and do something that
you like to do. In addition, take it one day at a time and stay committed
in trying to solve your problem.
BIOGRAPHY:
Stan Popovich is the author of "A Layman's Guide to Managing Fear
Using Psychology, Christianity and Non Resistant Methods" - an easy
to read book that presents a general overview of techniques that are
effective in managing persistent fears and anxieties. For additional
information go to: http://www.managingfear.com/