I wonder what thats like? I guess some people just aren't meant to know what life is like?
happiness was all I ever wanted. it seemed so simple. and when people went away, happy remained...for a while. beautiful.....I am not, talented, meaningful, worthwhile I am not. There is no meaning to this anti-life. lonleliness should be breathtaking and artistic. i am alone. I am unloveable. I am ugly. happiness? not with this being.
you are beautiful and will be loved.
This is only what we choose to feed our brains, this is not the truth and you know it deep inside, you know that you are lovable and talented and yes, the world can be and is...an ugly lonely place and when we see others laughing and smiling and getting all of what should be considered "good" we feel left out, alone, ugly, untouchable, unwanted...you do not have to feel this way. You can think differently. The people you see happy, well, that is fleeting, it is in the moment only. No one's life is perfect. No one has that love and happiness all the time. They just don't. So, stop feeding your brain those useless lies. It is your ego whom you are allowing to control how you feel. Ego should be dismissed at once~! Dismiss that ego! Ego is useless YES! Do you not know that we are all truly alone? Well, it is true. Now..it is up to us, the alone, the scorned, the untalented, the ugly or whatever you allow your ego to feed you...but don't...listen up! Feed your brain the good stuff!~say to your brain, I am NOT alone! I have myself. and if you have a Higher Power, (I personally have God) then you can always call upon HIM to comfort you through the dark times. Talk to him, as a friend and He will hear your prayers.
I love every one and every thing. Yes I am alone and so very lonely but no one is unlovable I have never met any one I didn't love as a friend. even acquaintances. So you are love even if you do not realize it . As for being ugly that comes from you yes someone may have said that to hurt you there are people like that but if you really look at your self not just out side but inside look at your heart you are not ugly I can tell just by the way you talk. Don't feel sorry for your self because some one treated you badly feel good because we all care for you.
Everyone is meant to be in abundance!!! U too! Just keep your minds open!!! welcome life!! u r meant to be only HAPPY!!! :)
U r meant to be in ABundance...each one rather!!!! Happiness is just for you! Just open your mind! welcome life!!!! It all thr fr u!! :)
All best mate. I really hope things get better and you do taste that happiness
I'm 17, generally regarded as intelligent, good, and an old soul. I've been lonely for as long as I can remember, and despite a consistent entourage that "understands", they do not empathize. All of those i've loved have abandoned me with the exception of my parents, but if they knew the depth of the pain their "little boy" felt, it would consume them as well. I am here today only to, paradoxically enough, end the suffering of others. Yet even this ambition cannot prevent my soul from eroding, and I feel as though my fall from grace is inevitable. But then... why do we fall? So that we may learn to pick ourselves back up.
All my family, x wife, children, sisters, choose to eclude me from ther lives. After a grave illness and devorce. I am 60.
I feel for you being so young. Thank God for your parents. I never follwed the crowd, more of a loner with acquaintances.
Mate, I know how you feel. I am 27 and I'm in the same position - excluded by people 24/7, I have no friends whatsoever, and even extended family don't want to know me anymore. I'm unemployed and can't keep a job. I feel so alone that I just want to die..
Maybe subconsciously we decide within ourselves NOT to have friends and be surrounded by people, for people can be false and judgmental this is what I have come to find. I once had many friends gathered round me but in the long term, I discovered, that they were not my true friends after all. I went through a rough time and everyone seemed to disappear when the good times were over. I saw the truth and through the different stages of acceptance of loneliness and abandonment I have now begun to try to embrace the fact that, yes...I am truly alone and yes...it is okay and I will cope. I will let the thoughts of dying and depression linger a bit, but not let them eat me alive. That is just me and what I have done to cope. Suicide is not the answer. I tried that. It does not work. It only alienates the few loved ones who are left who care and no one rallies around you, or at least they did not me. Instead, anger which made me feel like a complete failure, and so, suicide is not an option. I, we are stuck in this life to do what we must and what we can. Hang in there and wait for those moments of happiness and contentment, come on, we do have those. It is NOT all gloom and doom. Just seems that way when you are caught in that deadlock. Live on and embrace the fact that you don't have to put up with other people's judgmental ways and bull crap~ .
I have no friends sometimes thats ok as im a loner but sometimes I feel very lonely. Not sure if I could cope with permanent chum as I do like being my own boss but I do worry about future and do feel a friend would be nice but they dont advertise friends.
I thought it would go away by now.I thought I wouldn't have to fake emotions anymore. I thought that when I'm in crowded rooms, I wouldn't long for being alone, and when I'm alone, I wouldn't long for crowded rooms. I thought that the girl I hear about in songs or read of in classic literature or even dream of on the colder nights would come along and give me the hope I've lost. I thought that I wouldn't get used to sleepless nights. I thought I would get used to the feeling I get when I'm reminded that I'm different. I thought that the fire deep within me to change who I am and the world I'm in would burn out. But I was wrong. To know if anyone else feels these things,please, let me know. Because I have so much to give, and no one to share it with. We all do.
Owen, I know what you feel, but I also know that we can rise above it and come to love our own company and ourselves and not have to believe in fairy tales because they basically don't happen, oh sure, I have myself had some fairy tale type things, but...they were not real I found out, so I had to find a way to survive and that is my life. To try to see a silver lining in all the stuff that life throws at us.
You wrote this a while ago, and perhaps do not check it anymore, but I wanted to say that wherever you are, I have felt, do feel, the same way. you do. I am a young person myself (18) and at times have felt so consumed by loneliness and the feeling that there is so much I wish to say, but nobody to say it to. You are out there somewhere, and I am somewhere else on this same planet, reading your words and they have made me feel, albeit for only a minute, a little bit less alone.
To Kimberly and Owen Especially but all who feel the same:
Feel for you so much bro and sis. I've been lonely all my life too. Sometimes I think it was meant to be; (born on Wednesday and under Saturn lol!). I've never followed the crowd either. I'm 39 separated with 2 great boys (10 & 3). I thought becoming Muslim at the age of 21 would solve my problems...18 years and a failed arranged marriage later I'm more isolated than ever. I really believe in Islam but not the bullshit that goes with it, so I don't go to the mosque.. I see other muslims not as brothers and sisters but as a self interested 'clan' falling short of the high ideals Muhammad taught. I'm so let down by my experience of being a Muslim that I've even started to very occasionally drink alcohol-just to be normal- but I've lost the habit completely and never really enjoy it, and the ability t be normal seems to have gone forever too. I only seem to make sense to my kids and remain a mystery to everyone else. My arranged marriage was the only relationship I ever had and it wasn't a real relationship (my wife is from a Pakistani village where I was married in the presence of none of my family members and all of hers). At work people talk about their families etc.. and I have to pretend that my experience of family life is just like theirs. After work I go to my studio flat and just pass the time playing PlayStation or watching TV until tomorrow, because who knows what tomorrow will bring right? But I'm getting to the age now where I have to maybe accept that tomorrow's not bringing anything. I've wanted to be in a loving relationship with a woman ever since I fell in love with a Princes Leia lookalike at school when I was 9. never managed to ask her out..If only I had. Never managed anything but unrequited experiences since. Religion is a big reason why (Never had a one-night stand...I was raised catholic before I was a Muslim), but other religious people are perfectly happy it seems, plenty of unreligious people are sad and lonely too. I get some female attention but I've had so many unrequited experiences. I don' know what female attention means anymore. I never contemplate suicide anymore but I know that feeling when your young so I feel for you young guys. At least I manage to be there for my boys and they give me so much love.
Tonight it's the weekend..I'll probably go home and sleep.
Why are you different?
Owen. I understand your point of view. But don't people let go naturally? People let go and leave your life so that better people can make a room in your heart. As an old Soul you have a different point of view from other people which makes you unique. Owen, loneliness never goes away by the entry of a girl or person who is supposed to change your life rather when such people leave you experience more loneliness. Dreaming of a person who can change your life gives you false hopes. I believe loneliness comes from dissatisfaction. You are dissatisfied about why you were left in the middle of the road by your loved ones. If I am not wrong you do not like to dwell into social sites and chatting crowds, do you? Yes loneliness is a painful experience but have you ever tried to escape it? I want you to make a painting if you can or write a poem on loneliness. Let your imagination take wings and no more.. will you ever be lonely.
And if you wish to be angry on me for my words, just in case-
I have been there, but don't be despondent, we all 'fall' for all sorts of reasons so you are not on your own. It is part of living and it can make you stronger though at the time it is devastating. Go to a gym get out into the country side , try not to be to inter-perspective. There doesn't have to be a reason for life events [good or bad] but use them in a positive way. I promise they will build you up into a better happy person. x
To experience true loneliness is to experience the feeling of noting what bellows deep in the hear and can never completely escape.
Part of my loneliness stems from I had a place in my family where I belonged and felt secure, then my mom died, my siblings now hate each other, and one of them seriously betrayed me and I have developed trust issues. I am chronically ill and don't have anyone to take care of me the way my momma did. Instead, I take care of everyone else, my niece I'm raising, my mentally disabled brother and my father. I do tend to be escapist and try not to think too hard because I don't want people to think I'm wallowing in self pity. It's just I would like to know someone cares and is concerned about me. I know my family does they just have a poor way of showing it. I have friends but I just can't seem to connect with anyone so I think the problem is me. Anyway, nice place where we can come and feel like we aren't the only one that feels like this
You are a strong person to care for others when you have no one to care for you. I know that words alone cannot help mend how you are feeling but I have much respect for you and the love and compassion that you share with your family. I am not one who says that things will get better because they sometimes do not. But I do believe in Karma and feel that the Karma you are generating will come back to you.
I'm so lonely. I just want my husband to communicate with me like he did in the past. I feel so alone...like no one hears what I am saying. I just want to laugh again..
I know how you feel, my husband does it to me too, I call it emotional bullying', he with holds the communication I crave.
Communication gap is the worst thing in a relationship. Not only does it make one feel lonely but also leaves one craving for better a choice. Has there been any incident/fight in your personal life lately? or has there been another cause? The only way to cure it is to confront him and ask him face to face. Remember- Truth is devastating but Truth is empowering too. Try to dwell in with your old friends. Ignore your husband for a while. Try to live your life a teen one's again, without any care, without any worry just for one week. Go out on a trip, do yoga and do loads of shopping and have fun. Go wild and discover nature's beauty. And if this is not possible try to think about people who are in more devastating conditions. People who cannot afford food....People who have lost their families in accidents. Try to help them, it will give you self satisfaction. Just Remember- Don't depend on your husband for happiness, IT'S YOUR LIFE, LIVE IT AND BE CAREFREE, LOVE YOURSELF BEFORE YOU LOVE ANYONE ELSE.... I have full faith in you.
Feet with Flight...has an excellent attitude & very good advice! It is refreshing and that we all are here to help one another to learn techniques that help us, elevate us and free us from the pain of being alone and feeling sometimes like we do. We can alleviate much of the loneliness by not being passive by taking some action and putting ourselves outside of our usual comfort zone, hidden away is not the answer. Obviously, we want to escape and be normal. Know this though, we are all ultimately alone and yet, we are not alone. It takes work and effort to resolve our issues and find some comfort in this site which is perfect for venting and sharing both our pain and our techniques to overcome being lonely or depressed. A few months ago, I found myself in complete and utter despair. My physical self had such a blackness within and it was a terribly painful time for me. I did not know where to turn to and finally, one night I literally cried out to God to pleeeeeassss help me, to take away this darkness within me, haunting me and causing me much pain. It was amazing what happened and within moments, I became free from that darkness that had been eating away at me. I have not felt that way since. Yes, I still can feel alone, lonely but there is no longer the despair and darkness within. Just try reaching out to God you might be very surprised by the response you receive and come to know a power much greater than ourselves can ever be who will release you from the prison you find yourself in.
I'm 31 years old, shy and an introvert. I have trouble communicating with new people, not to mention looking awkward most of the time. A friend of mine once told me that I look like a lost doe when I'm in a crowded place. I'm still single ( no surprise there), thus have no one to talk to at home most of the time. I always wonder what it feels like to be one of those people who is really good with people, have lots of friends and seems to have everything going for them. Anyway, nice site. Glad I found it.
I know how you feel Ina. I struggle talking to people, everyone else's lives seems so interesting and exciting and when its my time to talk I don't feel I have anything of interest to tell people. Even writing this is upsetting me.
Be excited to here there stories. Its like a book being narrated, entertainment! Thank you for writing, Im lonely too but Im glad you took the time to share.
Thanks for sharing your story. Everything you wrote here sounds like a page taken from my own life. I was shocked when i read it, because my life is exactly the same! Except I'm 27. Don't worry man, there will be hope.. There will be a light at the end of the tunnel.
Just wish I had someone to be with, I have friends & family but at the end of the day I am here at home alone. Don't understand why.
I here ya and glad you're here for me. I just found this site. Too lonely and need to reach out to hold it together. Thank you for sharing. Warren
I have felt lonely for about as long as I can remember. It plagues me because I know intuitively I will never feel at "home" unless I follow what comes to me naturally, but I feel most women I try to pursue find my curiosity and openness to change as "unreliable" and 'ambiguous". Some of us want to live life like it's an experience and not a job. Anyway, I'm appreciative that a site like this exists, makes me feel less abnormal and stupid about my dissatisfaction.
For right now,
just fuck everything i suppose.
Do something... even if its...wrong...
Right now I agree with you...even though I've tried to resist those thoughts..
If there is a difference between alone and lonely,I am the lather. Because with 7 Billion other people in the world it is impossible to be 100% alone.
I couldn't agree more, there is definitely a difference between lonely and alone, alone as in on your own and lonely as in ...well lonely , I have found that the only feeling worse than being lonely is being with people who make you feel lonely, hang in there
I'm tired of being lonely too. My family have always put me down and see my depression and loneliness as a something that can just be switched off but I only wish it was that simple. Thank you for this website its oddly nice not to be the only lonely person out there.
Im 18 years old and people say that i am a nice person, that i am couragerous and help them overcome their problems. so why nobody help me overcome my problems. why i never met that special person, im only nice when i don't show my emotions how nice....
Victor, life can throw certain surprises at you and yes, they can be wonderful. I guess you Mr. Nice boy :) will need to stop waiting for that special person. Remember, there is no special person. It's you who make them special with your love and affection. As about being lonely..try doing stuff and meeting disabled children as I do. Try helping them and providing them with your love and care. They will give you more love you ever expected from any person. And I ensure you that you will never ever feel lonely anymore. Life is a gift. Live it and don't mourn it.
In case my words have hurt you, you have the right to be angry with me just in case- Paris.Jellicoe@gmail.com
I sometimes feel that I will never meet "that special someone," either, even though I am only 18, and hopefully have many years ahead. I feel so lonely right now, like there is nobody I can really talk to..it;s comforting to know that there are many others. I hope that we can both escape from it.
Its nice to know that there too are others who feel and suffer the same way I do. Being lonely and unable to feel happy really kills me everyday of my life. Most of us may have different reasons as to why were are lonely but for the most part we are still feeling no different as we were yesterday. The worst part about it is that I already know how I am going to be feeling tomorrow and probably the next day as well. Even trying to overcome the fact that I am lonely is not good enough. It really gets tiring to feel this way day in and day out. It sucks knowing that there is no one in your life that can fix the way you feel because they either dont want to listen or take the time to understand what it really feels like to be lonely.
alexis. A word of advice. If you wait for that person they wont arrive. I remember when I was 18...I'm 39 now...still alone. Pllleeeaaasse don't end up like me. Go out there and find them. Tell you what, I'm willing to give it a try if you will. Tonight I'm going to go to that bar instead of going to my flat. What's your end?
I'm preparing for loneliness.
In 2 months, I'll be alone. My family are in another country and I have made no friends in my new one in the year I've been here.
I'm so scared I will wither away into nothingness.
I feel so sad and lonely. I have some thoughts but cannot share how I feel with anyone because I dont have friends who will listen to what I will say. I dont have depression but sometimes wondering why I feel so alone. I cannot be the real me if I'm with other people because people dont like listening to what I say.
I don't know how I describe about your lonely. because end of the I am also lonely. I have friends, relative, family but their not understand me. Always they are thinking cheating and avoid me, but why I don't know. My father died five years ago, mother also sick since four years. My girl friend leave me few years ago, my friends cheating and leave me. Now I am alone, I have a good friend, that's name is song and blue sky. I talk to their and they are understand me. May be I have to say good bye this earth, So I am just waiting for that time.
You have friend here that will listen , understand and not judge you.
Being alone on the holidays really is the hardest part of loneliness for me. Watching everyone make plans and enjoy the day knowing you have no plans and on one to go see or have a picnic with.
I'm 19 and I've felt this loneliness for as long as I can remember. It's like a shadow that follows me around. It's with me most of the time. I care about other people so much that I try to forget the pain I feel. I tell myself that it doesn't matter what I feel as long as I can make others happy. I don't want to be a burden on anyone. When I'm alone it's hard to tell who I am. What's the point of this life I live? Making others happy is the only thing that matters. I don't know who I am. I don't why I do anything. I've always wished that someone would just come and take me away. Take me to one of the fantasy worlds that I try to escape to everyday.
Thank You! I have spent years in search of what I feel. The therapist labeled it as depression, but that is not it...it is LONELINESS!! I have suffered since I was in elementary school, through two bad marriages and now I am finally alone, not hiding anymore. I can deal with it, understanding that I am OK, accepting who I am.
People are generally okay with me, but no one really wants me. I spend most of my time alone. I'm even slowly drifting from my best friend. I guess I just don't have anything interesting to say about anything, because no one ever stops long enough to be a friend.
After several blissful years that began with the birth of my first son 25 years ago, I am overwhelmed by an intense feeling of loss that is outshone by only the lingering despair of loneliness due to my nearly empty nest. I don't know how to live without my children. It's a struggle to enjoy my youngest son's last year with me before he graduates from high school and leaves home for college. Typing that sparks another fit of tears and paralyzing fear. I have no one to talk to or keep me company. I thought I was having a nervous breakdown on the 4th of July as I sat home alone for the first time that I can remember without at least one of my children to enjoy fireworks with. My two older sons don't want to hear about it so I've given up trying to explain to them what I'm going thru. I have a few casual friends (no bff - my children were my life) whom I have confided in, but their response if anything is mostly a vague expression of understanding and sympathy followed by changing the subject because who wants to be around a "Debbie Downer"?! That or the friend who either outright ignores what I said or tells me how much worse off others have it so keep it to yourself. If only it were as easy as telling myself how much worse it could be so just be happy, I wouldn't be here.
I hear you! The downside of immersing and completely enjoying our children is the huge, terrible vacuum when they are gone. And then we have to smile and wave when they leave... not only do they need to go off without guilt, but our agony isn't their burden. I am never happy unless one of my kids is with me....but I keep telling myself that if I am strong enough to be a mom, I'm strong enough to be a good one, and I owe it to them to rebuild my life after them so they don't have to worry about me.
I understand completely how you feel with your children leaving home to be on their own, which, shows that you raised them right. My son left for college and his own apartment 2 years ago and the loss was insurmountable or so it seemed at the time. There was an upside to it though, I finally found in my being alone a strength that I thought I did not have and started focusing on who I am in this moment of time, this season of my life. There are several layers that I went through and my being alone with no friends or family was prevalent throughout my ordeal as I becoming the woman that feels better about myself and someone whom my son can be proud of as well. I also leaned on him many times and shared my turmoil and tears and yes, received the same response as you did, however, he would also advise me to "get out", find something to do and little by little I am doing that.
I know what you mean sandi. Im feeling very lonely too. Daughter now gone has her own house. I have only one casual friend but not really there for me. So feel very lonely like just feeling like ending it all
I want to disappear. Leave everyone and go to a place no one will know.
I feel yah
Lets all go there, become giving friends and be lonely no more!
I just can not get a grip on anything witch i know i should do to change things for me.
I feel alone all the time. I used to be extremely depressed in high school, and then I went into this "numb" period where I just did things to distract me from thinking about how lonely life was. But, now I post ads on Craigslist trying to find SOMEONE to hang out with, and it just FRUSTRATES me because these people don't even really wanna hang out. And they're all perverts and liars.
It's almost my 19th birthday, and no one has talked to me, asked me to hang out, or anything. I'm just sitting in the cafeteria of my college, desperately trying to find ANYONE to hang out with. But, nope. I'm crying, and I'm watching Youtube videos.
My head feels like it's gonna explode.
I was you, 35 years ago. Everyone seemed to have their groups, their interests, their friends, there was no room for me, for someone new. I spent many, many nights alone in my dorm room with a good book, listening to people around me getting ready to go out, go to work, laughing and talking. Eventually I decided that life wasn't going to happen to me. So I decided to take the bull by the horns, rather than die in misery. I thought a long time about what I liked to do and what I needed to do. First the need...I needed to take care of myself. So I joined a workout class at the gym. Next I needed money....I got a job as a waitress at a local restaurant. I also joined a book club, since I had read so many good books. In all of those I was exposed to more and new people, and eventually made a couple of casual friends. I used the money from the job to get contacts and a good hairdo, and my confidence began to grow. As my confidence grew, my attitude improved and I developed a nice circle of work, school and social friends. I began to date, and several years later met the man I was happily married to until his recent death. Now, as a widow who has been devoted to her husband and family for 30 years, I find myself starting over again...alone and scared. But I did it once, I can do it again and so can you. Life is out there for you.
Lorieann, I found your entry both moving and inspiring. I resonated with the pain of witnessing other people laughing together, getting ready to go out and your sense of "no room for me". I like the way you shared with us the active steps you took to make your life less lonely and how this gradually worked! The end of your post, describing how you now feel lonely and scared but you know you "can do it again" is heart warming and inspiring. After a series of short relationships and time on my own, I am single, without children and 58. I have spent much of the last few years caring for my mum, with whom I had a close relationship. She died in my arms a few weeks ago and I am now immersed in the loneliness of grief. Not only have I lost my mum but I also feel a gaping loneliness in my life, a huge sadness that I have not created a family for myself and a yearning envy when I see friends with families around me. Your post has made me think It's not too late and that being passive is not the way ahead. I will plan some small steps, bearing in mind, as you suggested, what I like to do and what I need to do. Thank you for sharing your story! To everyone out there feeling the agony of loneliness, please feel my empathy and compassion.
I found this site by accident while searching for some way of coping with a lifetime of extreme abuse which created a creature so socially dysfunctional that I have not had a true friend in my entire life. You need to be able to share things to create friendship and one does not share social taboos.
I managed to escape from one abuser but was never able to free myself from the other one. She was supposed to love and protect me, instead she destroyed me. Now I find myself in an inescapable hell, forced to care for her until death do us part. The searing pain of my loneliness and isolation is physically killing me, vaporizing what little life I have left like a ghost already forming before my death.
Oddly, finding this site helped a bit. Some of the artwork hit me like a sledge hammer. I am alone with this vicious, evil and now crippled and demented woman, and bitterly lonely. I have been since infancy. But on a metaphysical plane perhaps
not quite as alone as I believed.
That woman is very very lucky to have found a man like you! You should leave! Stop! You deserve better than that hopeless demented life. I am a beautiful woman inside and out and so lonely and suffering, but I would never abuse anyone, I only want to be loved and to love, Why is it that these evil women get everything? I don't understand it at all Here I am, so wonderful, so lonely, so beautiful in so many ways and suffer from lack of touch and care from a good man. What the f....k!!
Ive been in a 12 step program just over a year. I'm a codependent, and an adult child of alcholism. I just quit smoking this week, and as I tracked my feelings associated with my cravings, I found that I am almost always feeling lonely when I want a cigarette. I smoke the most at night when the kids have gone to bed, or after a cry b/c there is no one around to comfort me. I've stuffed this feeling, and denied it even really exists. I'm trying to understand it now, and am glad I found this site. I've given up on romantic love, and am trying to learn to live by myself and not rely on anyone. Its very confusing. Thanks for listening.
Hi, I just came across this and wanted to say yes, loneliness is so excruciating, it must be hell. Those family who intent ally cause you to feel lonely are the demons in charge of hell. I am trying to escape by creating stronger relationships with others, replacing the family who have already replaced me but it isn't easy since I am so needy physically. I hate that I have pretended my family was good and perfect for so long that no one believes me now but I am glad and scared to be not denying it any longer too.
I totally understand what it's like to have spent most, if not all of your life living in a split world. One reality inside the house, a completely different one displayed to the rest of the world. My two worlds were so horrifically polarized I was unable to function between them and fractured.
I know about being needy. If I find someone who seems like they care I'm so insecure that I end up driving them away with my constant demands for validation. I was so systematically dehumanized that I don't even feel human. Oddly enough I don't even seek love, just validation. Very few people can handle that kind of neediness and back away from us in self-defense. It isn't that they don't care, they simply can't handle it.
When I finally got brave and told the rest of the world the truth about my family and my abuse most of the people who knew us as a family absolutely did NOT believe me and told me I was insane for saying such awful things. I was completely shunned by everyone. All the relatives on both sides of the family completely disowned me.
It is very difficult to stand up for yourself and what you know to be the truth, but you must take that step or you will never get started on the path to reinventing yourself. You know the truth. Saying it out loud will bring repercussions and they won't be fun. It hurts, but you must do it before you can even start moving forward. As long as you are not physically in danger try to recognize that any retaliation they engage in is just childish and vicious. It hurts like hell, but it won't kill you. Do the best you can to protect your physical safety and keep marching forward.
You can reinvent yourself but recognize that it is a process and it won't happen overnight. You already recognize that your neediness pushes people away. Focus on learning to set boundaries for yourself on that one problem. Unfortunately I have learned the hard way that most people are pretty shallow "fair weather friends" who are about as deep as a mud puddle. You truly don't need them anyway, but you can practice learning to control your neediness on them while holding out for that one person who will accept you as you are. When that person comes along you will be far more secure in yourself and ready for a much better relationship.
I have days when the pain of my total betrayal and the empty nothingness of my existence scream like a banshee inside my head and what's left of my soul is incapacitated by the searing white-hot misery of a living hell. I struggle with severe physical and emotional pain, failing health and loneliness and grief so intense I wanted to commit suicide just to stop the pain from completely crushing me under the weight of it. I honestly felt like I could not endure one more day without losing my sanity.
I'm a born fighter though and no matter how many times I get knocked down I somehow always manage to struggle back to my feet. If prizefighters can achieve accolades for this perhaps some day I can at least see a rainbow.
Unhelpful. Very disappointed with this site. NO HELP to a genuinely lonely person. Link I clicked on creeped me out.
I expect this comment will not be approved.
I'm sorry the website was of no help to you. I'm curious about the link you clicked on that creeped you out...what was the link? And yes, the comment is approved. If you're wondering why there aren't more negative comments, it's because not many people leave negative ones, not because they are censored.
We should form a club here... how bout...
I sit here and I feel this pain in my heart. I have accomplished so much this year, and yet I still feel so lonely...
I never thought that saying HI to someone can be so difficult. Why when we have friends wy feel lonely i dont get it :(. Nothing sucks more then feeling all alone no metter how many people are around ;/ HELLO someone I'm here lets talk. Need to end this loneliness. If someone could talk with me just one person who can understand my. I'm know that would change my world.
Hi Fabien, have you joined our online support group? You can find it at http://support.webofloneliness.com. You will find a lot more than one other person who will understand your loneliness and who you will be able to talk to. Please check it out!
I could use a hug. Or a punching bag. Instead, I've been listening to Radiohead's Fake Plastic Trees on repeat. I wish I could feel better, rather than always treating symptoms.
Dell, I know you wrote that quite a while ago, I hope that things have improved and that you have moved on to a new song. It struck me because I, too have listened to Fake Plastic Trees by Radiohead and very much related to that song. Now, I have moved on to the new song, "Happy". Put the go figure on that one, heh?
I'm not the kind of person who always feels alone, but sometimes I really do. The problem is that we are stuck inside a body that prevents us from getting any help in the outside world, so we have to live by ourselves. No one will never know what it is like to see the world the way I see. That's why, despite our efforts to be empathic, we can't really understand what goes on inside other people's minds.
I believe that the ultimate level of loneliness is when we have to take decisions. No matter what decision you take in your life, you are the only responsible for its consequences. Many people may give advices, but they don't change the fact that the burden of the results will only be over you, who actually chose something.
It becomes even more difficult if our decision involves the life of other (especially a relationship). Should I continue with her or not? She's excellent, but I feel that I'm not happy with her anymore, and I've been struggling so hard to keep this relation working... Her family is a huge problem, and she's been facing lots of hardships... Should I leave her alone now?
These are questions we all may have, or others similar to these. I know I'm the only one to choose what to do, but sharing it and expecting that someone will read, care and, perhaps, help is what makes me feel like living yet.
If you read everything, thank you! Thank you for your time! And if you got this this point, please spend some more time telling me whatever comes to your mind. Any comment can help.
I'm lonely. If you are too, I understand you, and I care. Hope we get better.
I just typed loneliness on Google and this popped up. I will just let all my feelings go in this post. I am a 17 year old that goes to an all guy high school which totally sucks. I spent my past birthday without any friends, but at least I am thankful to have had my parents at my side. Sometimes I feel that I don't have that special friend beside me and through the past years I feel that I've been losing the people I used to call my friends little by little. Every day I hear conversations about how fun the weekend was and how fun was the party, which I'm never invited to. I sometimes wish to laugh with someone else. I haven't talked to a girl in years and the last time I tried I was rejected badly. I don't consider my self to be ugly looking, I am athletic and am a real good soccer player, yet I feel drepressed as fuck.It sure is a strange feeling I am getting right now as I'm writing this, its just like if I am actually telling all of this to someone, expressing my self, sharing my feelings to people that relate to me. My ultimate wish would just be to start over somewhere else, where I can build friendships and end with this loneliness
I'm 18, and I tend to be among the smartest in my class, both high school and college. I don't think I'm the best looking, but I'm certainly not bad. I've never had luck with women, although I have tons of "friends". Basically I'm the type who has no enemies, but I have only good acquaintances. No one cares to be a close friend, and I'm fairly estranged by my family. My morals are higher, my interests are contrary to my culture, and I don't even like the city or country I live in. I'm so "different" that my older brother by 5 years doesn't really like me, although that's more about my morals than anything else. My sister is 7 years older than me, and we have never been close. She's annoying and she's always been in a different part of life than me, so we've never seen eye to eye. My parents are divorced and I live with my mom who initiated the divorce. She dated within a couple of months of the divorce. My brother lives with my dad, who is basically the cause of the divorce, although the divorce itself is dumb. No one cheated, there was no money problems. My sister is married and has moved out. The entire divorce was about sex, which should be just a small part of what marriage is, right? Well I never knew anything was wrong, although it was wrong most of my life, until 3 months before the divorce. When my parents finally told us, they weren't asking us about it, they were telling us. Us means the three kids. I have never really been cared about when these things happen. Everyone takes me for granted. Not only is it lonely at the top, but pretty much wherever I am and whatever I do is lonely... I just wish someone would take the time and patience to really connect with me. Someone who could deal with the childish parts of me, but would also keep up with the adult side of me. Someone who could play on my level, yet keep up with the speed of my thoughts. I don't care if it's just one person, but all I have keeping me alive is my faith in my religious beliefs. That's all I live for right now, yet naturally God isn't physical, at least right now, so being content with just his help is difficult. Just one real friend is plenty, but it needs to be someone I can see, hear, and even touch (not like I have to touch them, I just have to be able to). I want a real friend... No masks, no judgement, and no fear. I want real closeness.
I am very lonely and have been that way since childhood. I was my mother's ninth child and I assume that is the reason I was ignored. She was just tired. My siblings are not close and we do not talk. I call them but they never call back. I guess they are just busy with their own lives. I am a single mom with no help from dad. Every day is the same. Wake up, ready the kids, go to a crappy job, come home, handle parent duties, go to sleep. No real human interaction. Its pretty said when you look at your telephone bill and realize that you have no incoming or outgoing calls for weeks!!!
I am sorry Melissa, I know the feeling sort of. For years my phone was always blowing up it was too much then all of a sudden one day it bam nothing almost no calls, no texts nothing. Just empty space. I hope you get through and even though I am a stranger right now I truly feel your sorrow. How some how. I could help
Thanks for this website. The worst part about the feelings of loneliness is not having anyone to talk to. It may just be my pride but I have never been capable of doing. My three closests friends all love each other and I love them but I am not comfortable sharing my darkness with them as they have shared with me and each other and their boyfriends. To them I am some happy go-lucky almost 18 year old. I want to talk to someone but I guess I'm just a coward for not opening up, right? There has got to be a way for this loneliness to lift. Relationships (friendly, familial or romantic) all seem impossible for me because I can't share my feelings. I have grown so independent I have isolated myself and I am scared that I won't be able to manage it all by myself especially when I go off to college next year. There is so much weight on me and this loneliness doesn't need to be shadowing me...
If there's anything you need to take from this, it's that divulging your feelings to someone else is not an act of shame, but an act of courage. There is not one person out there that can purge their emotions without fear. One might think "What would they think of me?" , or " They wouldn't understand." But if that's true, then why am I taking the time to write this? Why do so many of us, young and old alike, put on our masks and silently weep in the face of our soliloquies? It is because we all care, but society trains and drains us to the point that we must hide it. So the next time you see someone wearing the fake smile we all know so well, or read words off this very screen that you empathize with, rise above your fears and wear you heart on your sleeve. Because people need dramatic examples to shake them out of apathy, and you can't provide those by hiding within yourself. I am alone. But I haven't given up. Neither should you, any of you. Thanks for your time.
I can relate to many comments here. I recognize an appreciation for this site. I do not feel human anymore. I have felt this loneliness so deep for so long. Over a decade. It is the great moments, and the tragic moments that make life seem longer, which is part of why i feel older than 18. When i use my mimd to trigger my heart to feel the pain and release some, it is difficult because the pain is literally physical. Ifeel it from the center of my chest and it reaches put sharply and goes through my left arm, always the left, all the way to the end of my middle finger. I do not understand this pain. No matyer what i share woth words and knowledge, i cannot be satisfied without physical affection. I desire a first kiss. To hug and to snuggle spmeone i care for. It is so hard to habe feelings for others. It is so hard to habe feelings. I hope these words are not lost. I habe written maybe 100 poems of loneliness. I apologize for typos. Not used to touch phone keyboard, my only way of internet though since i found it.
Another day driving my loneliness , no where
Sitting absolutely still, always waiting
Cant find the energy or motivation, I'm still
This conflagration that exists, I created
Where is the love, i hide
I look over i see no one, empty space
The fear is a great man, he dies
Before he reaches, his existence
I am so alone. I cry every night. I love someone so much that it's hurting me because I know he doesn't love me as much as I love him. I wish he could understand. He says he loves me, and I know he does, but something isn't right. That is why I'm feeling so alone. I have my flaws but my heart and soul are both completely in love with this man, yet I'm not enough for him. There are other girls. I know I mean way more to him than anyone does, but why even mess with another girl when you have me right here loving you. I wish I could have someone every night. The same person. The same man. HIM. He is the father of our child that was never born. That is soo hard to say. I've given him all of me, for 3 years now, All I want is some reassurance that I'm enough. It's killing me, I feel hollow.
I know most of you must feel like this is so stupid, but to me, I'm crying on the inside and out, True, deep, dark, pain. Caused by pure love. I don't want anyone else, I wish I was enough. What he doesn't get is that I need that. I need to know what I am to him. I need that before I can get through other things because that is consuming my mind.
I've never been enough. I used to be, or so I thought, But he is my everything. all I have. We are so happy together, He's my best friend, my best love, my heart and soul. I just wish he could understand my pain. I'm writing to vent because I'm so sad.
I'm not a 15 year old girl... I'm grown. But I need something, I feel so empty.
Everyone on here is going through a lot of things and I really don't mean to make a "stupid relationship" post, but it's so hard to be in a relationship with someone you love, but feel so lonely sometimes. It's f***ed up. I know this. I know you might think it's "unhealthy" and to a certain extent you're right. I just feel so empty right now. I needed somewhere to go... so I came here. I really don't need advice, I know my options and my problems, that IS THE PROBLEM :( . I just needed a place to go at this moment. I have nowhere else right now. Pardon me if none of this makes sense.
I want everyone to know, that I feel everyones pain. I've been through a lot in my life, and I can empathize with almost every one of you. I wish I could hug every single one of you and comfort you but I can't. But please, if you're lonely, you really aren't alone. There are so many people dealing with different things in different ways, yet nobody speaks about it. I mean look at me, I'm posting on a random website. I hope everyone finds what they're looking for, whatever that may be. Much love to all of you suffering, Thank you for reading
I feel less alone having found this website and yes, it concludes and highlights my loneliness...galore and glaring but I already knew this about myself at this time of my life. I feel that being alone is allowing me to know myself better and to find a strange sort of strength from it but, it I am growing tired of it and really got to know myself a great deal due to these circumstances. However, there is no magical cure, except...acceptance of our loneliness and finding ways to overcome it. Even though, I am in the worst description, the sleeping a lot, drugs, alcohol, recklessness, closed off I know all of this and I am coming through, recognition well, it is a start. Thanks for letting me share.
Due to circumstances in early life I have trouble speaking with others. I was never liked in school or in the neighborhood. I didn't do anything to deserve the pain but I got it anyway. My family was supportive and I love them for that. But people need more than family. People need interaction with others who aren't just obligated to be around. I lack those social skills since I never got a chance to develop them. Every time I thought I was doing good something came along to ruin it or it wasn't as good as I thought it was. Betrayal, Loss, Misleading Circumstances or the feeling was never real to begin with. Soon as I let my guard down I get screwed. I know what caused all my problems but despite knowing the cause I have no way of relieving it. I wish I could just forget my whole childhood and start over from scratch but I'm mentally scarred. Too much damage dealt over too many years to recover with anything less than a miracle. I'm beginning to lose my hope for the future and it's all I got left. I am lonely. I have been lonely for my entire life. It's real humbling knowing humans are so fragile. The only reason I haven't ended it is because I still have obligations here on this rotten earth. And I can't bear the thought of my family, the only ones who love me, putting me in the ground. I have to be there for them no matter how unhappy I am.
Least it's good to share. Maybe someone can read this and not feel so lonely.
Thank you for the kind words. I needed that. I do believe in karma as well and I hope you receive some good karma for this. Maybe the situation isn't perfect but if it was then I'm not so sure life would be any more worth living than it is now. Maybe even less so having nothing to dream of and nothing to look forward to. I can't seem to find your reply on here it's not showing up but if you do find yourself visiting this page again some day I hope you'll notice this and know that I appreciate what you said.
As much as I try not to let my autism hold me back from doing anything. It feels like I can't communicate for shit. I feel uninteresting, stupid, ignored, and depressed. Its part of the reason I don't even try to talk to others is because of this. I feel like I'll never find any meaningful relationships because of this issue. God do hate the feeling of depression. God do i hate the feel of neglect. Its reason why I seem to think of end it all.
Moo, I'm sorry to hear things have been so tough for you. I'd like to invite you to join our online support group. It's an opportunity to connect with others and make new friends. Join us here: http://support.webofloneliness.com
I feel so sad reading your story, Moo. A therapist told me in 2011 that I might have Aspergers. It broke my heart to hear that. My life is going nowhere, and still feels pretty depressing and lonely today. Please, take care of yourself, you are worthy and I promise there will be good things around the corner for you!
Thinking I've found some hope here. Gawd knows it's needed - still smiles when things are so dark.
I'm a member, but I come back from time to time, to check things out. I just don't have anything to say or to feel anymore. I am socially isolated, and ignored. For me, what started as rejection became loneliness, and then that become social isolation. I have no friends at all, struggle to keep them, and I feel like I'm starting to lose it..
Hold on, friend. Because once you've lost it, it's hard to get it back. Don't lose your hope in people, or else the possibility of happiness is over. It won't just fall in your lap. You have to fight for it. But it's out there, I promise
I am losing hope, losing faith, running out of reasons to even keep myself alive. There is nothing wrong with me. I am a normal average attractive hardworking female. Almost 2 years in this new town and not a friend to show for it. What's the point? I reach out to people and NO ONE reaches back except the people that simply want to have sex with me. I am losing and I am lost.
I've become an angry and bitter person who is full of regrets and unfulfilled wishes. I was never this way. I was once happy and able to look at the bright side of life. I saw the good in people, I was able to forgive and love. I look through my pictures and long to be that person again.
If only all of us lonely people could gather together somewhere and give each other a hug. We don't need to speak, don't need to explain, don't need to defend, or accuse. We don't even need to understand how we got to this lonely point in our lives. I just want to be able to say to someone-- "hey, I'm lonely, can you comfort me?"
My children would be hurt if they saw this post. It has nothing to do with them. They are my world and without them I would be even more lonelier. Life hurts and one day you realize that all those people you called "friends" are gone. My family avoids me because there's so much hurt in everyone, we just don't know how to get past it. I wonder if they are as lonely as I am.
Lonely lady, Children are blessing in everyone's life. And yes, people leave, but they go for good. You are clearly a courageous lady who wants things to change. Try to bring your family together, Bring those wonderful moments back. Plan a safari, or an adventurous and thrilling trip which your family will definitely love, after all everyone needs a break. If your husband is there, try spicing up things a bit. He will be surprised but he fall madly in love with you again. Try involving family as much as possible and remember no matter what- no fighting, no arguments, nothing which spoils the fun. Just laugh off at problems. And believe me, soon your bitterness will jump out of the window and you and your beautiful family will be laughing at it
I found a book at the library called-Lonely-, its a book about a woman who had suffered from loneliness for a long time, it also had a lot of research into loneliness, the whys and whats not...I thought for a long time that I was depressed, but in reading this book I finally realized what I have been feeling for a long time...Lonely. I have had periods in my life when I am fully functional, working and talking on the phone, you know-being involved. Then I start to withdraw and feel weird things like-people don't really like me, and it got worse when the whole facebook social media thing came on the scene. I saw my sister getting closer to my cousins and it felt like they were leaving me out deliberately, I would make a comment and no one would respond to my comment but they would talk to each other. It was the same with friends, there was always someone who was better than me, someone leaving me for someone more outgoing and hip. I always thought that I had a lot to offer, I am kind, giving of myself, would lend a hand to a friend in need, but what I see these days is people don't want that. In my opinion, they want Oh your so beautiful, you got the best phone, your so fun. I started feeling insecure and eventually wondering what was wrong with me? And it has gotten to the point in my life that I live 300 miles away from family, I have a job that doesn't require much interaction with people, and I only talk to about 3 people, one, is my oldest friend of 19 years and two are acquaintances at my apt building. I guess i am lucky to have my close friend but she is kinda introverted too but at least I do have someone. I hope this year gets better, my dogs are a blessing and if it weren't for them I wouldn't even get out 3 times a day. But I still feel lonely, i spent thanksgiving alone and no one called, not even my mom. I like what SierraMarie wrote on her post--how no one reaches back. Over the years I have tried to reach out to cousins, old friends, but to no avail, they are all too busy raising their families. I'm glad I found this website. It's comforting to see I am not the only one who feels lonely.
I have been lonely al my life. I don't know a life without loneliness. It's causing me to feel like I'm going mad. But sometimes I wonder if I am. I've never had friends all my life, through elementary to high school to now. No one things I care that I don't have friends and go months without stepping outside my yard. But I do, I just hide it well...moving to a whole different country made it worse. No friends...Once again. But friends isn't the problem its me. If I can't love myself then how can someone else. My current boyfriend says he does...but how can he when he bashes me and kicks me when I'm down. I am a Party Of One...and I'll come to terms with it...eventually.
You shouldn't have to come to terms with it, you should fight it. If you're boyfriend is bashing you, he doesn't deserve you. If you're hiding the way you truly feel, no one will reach out. The moment you realize that if YOU make the effort and take what you want in life is the day you'll begin to love yourself. And I promise, others will follow suit.
Cleopatra..a beautiful name. I can say that you are beautiful but shy and are not so confident. I think something happened in your childhood which hurt you deep, maybe a close loved one left you or maybe someone special never came. Maybe this made your confidence fall. But remember You Are The most Important Person In Your Life. Make sure you show it clearly to the people.Try To have some attitude and boldness which makes you seem attractive but not so much that you regret it later. To be honest, Try meeting other guys who make you feel better. It can be anyone. Just Trust Me. Try not to be awkward or shy. And I swear You Will Find Mr.Perfect. Keep looking. Moving to new places can be tough on both physical and emotional life. But make sure you have your 'GO WILD' trips once in a while alone. Try going to orphanages and old age homes once in awhile and talk to them, laugh with them, put a smile on their faces. They will soon give a new meaning to your life.
I have felt lonely my whole life. All I ever wanted was to be hugged and held. Have experienced very little of that. How can a person live like this for so long? I really don't know. I am getting weary and starting to feel that it is hopeless. I have been really thinking that I am going to have no future and thinking of a way out.
Lois you definitely have a future and an immense one. I'm glad that you don't believe in physical satisfaction because physical beast can snatch away your mental peace. Look for a girl, a simple one or a different one and make her feel special..more importantly make her feel loved and she will shower all her love upon you and will become your life. Her love will turn this miserable loneliness into blooming happiness. Best of luck, go find your princess.
I no longer believe in fairy tales. There are no Princes or Princesses. We are in a new era. We are warriors of the spirit and self. Should we meet a soul mate who comes to know and love us, then we will have succeeded. In the meantime, don't count on a Prince. Don't count on a Princess. They don't exist. We are all the same. Women and men, human beings all wanting happiness and love.
Hello everyone. I by accident discovered this page this morning and like it very much. I was looking for different types of loneliness to try and explain to someone/people how I feel. I feel extremely lonely and it’s slowly killing me and it almost did once which in return blessed me with a cursed diagnoses of bipolar (which isn’t true). I didn’t try and end everything because I have a mental disorder I honestly only want an “attachment figure” as Robert Weis would say. I most definitely fall under the part what Robert Weiss call loneliness of emotional isolation. People often say go out meet new friends, focus on your job etc etc, but how do you make them understand it’s not that. I have a good job, I know I can further my education and career very comfortable, I have friends I can visit and hang out with but, I don’t need that. It’s not what my heart and soul is seeking. You can’t share your special love, happiness, achievements in life, success, with your friends. It’s hard to wake up alone go home alone and live day in day out not having someone special in your life. I am a little shy but not to the extend where it will affect things for me in life. I am a kind and gentle person with lots of love and that is always seen as being weak because I am not a guy who wants to stay mad for hours or have horrible arguments with my partner. I cannot become a meaner person and be a harder person because then ill change who I am and that’s won’t be me. Sometimes it feels like my life is cursed, that I was put here to make others happy, make their bad days better, help where I can and in my own privacy live a life of tears and sadness. I have tears as I am writing this because for some strange reason I still believe in love and that I will find it even when my heart tells me at times I rather just leave this place. I read a lot of the comments above and it’s sad to see how alone some people really are. Anyways I thought I just share a little, sorry for bad grammar and I pray for everyone out here and around the world who is going through something like thisway.
I am happy that you discovered this site, just as I and others have. Yes, loneliness is a tough place that some people are fortunate to not feel like many of us do they go on and it does not bother them. Well, it does me. I needed to be alone for awhile, but I am ready now to share my beauty of heart, mind and soul with another who can protect me and I them, to help us to grow, to do positive things to become again. No one here ever answers me but I am going to take a chance and put my real email down. I would really like to hear from some of you, well anyone really, LOL,,,,On a more personal level, commiserate, grow, know and understand and who knows, maybe something good will happen. Let it Be email@example.com
Wow. You really touched my heart. I feel the same and always thought nobody understood me but.... right now I read you...and your words touched my soul or something more important...my heart
Ever since I graduated from high school, I gradually have gotten more and more lonely. Just recently, one person in one of my college classes that I actually thought I got a long with decided not to accept a friend request I sent on facebook. What's wrong with me that I can't connect with other people? (Facebook sucks for lonely people by the way... nothing like trying to make your life look nice, and seeing other people's at least seemingly great lives.) A coworker I've had for years that is one of my better friends (he'd be shocked to find that out because I bet he actually has a social life...) is leaving were I work, so I'll be losing that connection. I technically have "best friends" from my high school days yet, but our relationships are getting shallower and shallower... My depression and anxiety have got to stop before I can't handle this any more! I'm even thinking God doesn't really like me- a new low. I love this site because this way I know that other people feel the same way as me sometimes, and I feel what you all are saying.
No You Are Not Lonely.
We are all here for you. Like a family.
And as for Life..Ahhh Life. Facebook is usually for people who want to exhibit their lives out. I believe you are an introvert. You think differently and have your own style, your own aura and personality. Try throwing yourself into hushy-mushy Tumblr. And poof! You’ll never feel lonely. And if you are not that type, then try creating your own friend circle. Try games distractions, stuff… And remember a Lion walks alone…. It’s the weak that need a herd. And who says you are lonely? After All We All Are Here For You.
<3 Thank-you for responding, being there for me, and your advice!
No I should thank you K and Kimberley. Afterall We Are A family. We Will Always Stand For Each Other.
I feel lonely just like everyone else on this site. Happiness doesn't last for more than a few moments until I come back to reality. Moving to another country expecting a better life. Not being cut out for after graduate school mid way through. I've been doing nothing for the past 8 or so months but laying around wondering and being controlled by my mind. But luckily I was never one who was into having friends...or maybe I was but just never had the opportunity to. I've been called a old soul but being an old soul in this world seems to be impossible. I don't get along with people my age nor can I stand being around them which let me to dating a much older boyfriend who is so cruel when he wants to be. Accusing and making like more stressful when he is in such a mood. Life ahead of me looks dark.
You must get rid of the dead weight of a companion/boyfriend who is abusive and controlling. If you believe that it will get better and he will change, it will not happen. I know. They don't change these types of people as they are very insecure and you being younger than him really gets his insecurity issues up. Please, do yourself a favor and end the relationship so that you can begin to be happy again. You must look at the positive and the success that you had. Just moving from another country is huge! You did it! Many can not, but YOU did! You also went to grad school and you can always go back or find something that interests you and you adore doing. You are obviously still young and even if you weren't or aren't it doesn't matter I can seriously attest to that! I think we can begin a new at any age it is all in our minds control. Just make up our mind to act as if, make believe that you are happy and it will happen for you. Look to the silver lining in even the bad and you shall see. Pray as well to a higher power and be released from your prison of loneliness and self doubt, use the sweet well of your imagination to become and you shall become,.,,whatever you want!
Dearest C, old soul means nothing but being more mature and have a Better Understanding Than Others. Love And Relationships Are Supposed To Calm Us Down And Give Us Mental Peace And Security. A relationship without it has no point. If afterall you choose to be with an older man, choose someone who gives you happiness not makes you sorrowful. Try continuing further education somehow. And try to get a part time job to distract yourself. It's best not be dependent on anyone. Try to get a new man who helps you out but remember if nothing else, believe in yourself, have willpower. Opportunities will knock at the door. Life may look dark, but You Will Find The Light At The End Of The Tunnel. After Shade From Cloud Comes Out Golden Sunlight. All The Best.
I live in loneliness but I also live in love. Some day I may find love again. Until then I will share the love that I have with every one. Should I find true love the world will know because I will love the world more.
I felt alone my whole life and even more so in a relationship. Being that one that is transparent and honest and finding the same seems to not exist. I continue to pick men whom can not be emotionally connected. Leaving me to wonder if I am worthy. Why? I am lonely, meant to be alone, single!!!
I seem to stay single... the few people I felt like I could connect with were taken so I couldn't even stay friends with them long term. But society's stress on getting married is so overrated- i wish everybody would just leave single people alone instead of asking why we are single. Good luck, and i'm sure you're worthy.... really good people don't always fit in with just anyone (or at least that is what I tell myself :P)
I'm 20, I'm a student and Iv'e spent all of my life with maybe a dozen friends, none of whom I'm close to or even see more than once every 2-3 weeks when they go to the pub, and most of whom aren't my friends anymore. I've always craved a relationship, without ever having one. The only time i felt truly happy was for 6 months when i hung out with a girl i knew from school. Just like everyone else she walked away and destroyed me in the process before dating the only 'friend' i'd ever truly had. I've tried to be friends with them again and reach out, but they don't seem to notice.
I look around at everyone making connections to other people, wishing that i could too, but the ability to do so lies just beyond my grasp. it makes me feel broken, hollow and alone.
Everyone calls me "misunderstood" but not one of them has ever tried to understand me. I wonder at times if there's any point in trying or even living.
Chris, you need to stop TRYING anyway and stop feeling sorry for yourself. You are lucky to still be young and you have many years left to work on your own self and find out how to learn to live happily without relying on other people to bring you happiness. Remember this...people are only human. They are perfectly imperfect and inevitably will let you down 99.9% of the time, simply for the fact that they are human, therefore, know that YOU and only YOU and perhaps whomever you call your Higher Power (I call mine the Creator/or God) is the only one who will be there for you and not let you down, so don't let yourself down, because then, you have only YOURSELF to blame. Pretty simple. I think you sound smart enough to figure all of this out and stop feeding into your sorrow and your idea that you are broken. There is no way at your age that you could be broken. Don't allow it.
How does one access the chat room here?
I am retired and live in the mountains!! Most of my friends have passed, but the ones I have I see from time to time!! I am alone 6 days and nights a week and try to go out if I have extra money!! My animals are all I have and hope one day I meet someone to travel with and enjoy life!! I just don't have ways to meet new people and have seemed to adjusted to this lonely life and will die alone and no one will find me till I am stiff as a bord !!
I am lonely, I have been for too long. I get upset when I am talking with some people, and they want me to say something, and I realise I have nothing. It embarrassing and frustrating. So I avoid work socials and unfortunately I let people down socially by cancelling or simply not turning up (I panicked); which comes across terrible and that's even more frustrating. I look at my family and other people and wonder how they do it, and how would I even start. I think of joining a group, but that completely overwhelms me since I am so shy and socially awkward, I'd just panic. I crave so much to have friends and a social life. I know that there is a part of me (at least from what I see in my daydreams) that I would be really nice and fun. But getting past the first stage will be the hardest for me.
Just wanted to ask anyone that will to send prayers my way for me and my Family. The prayer will be appreciated. I know none of you know me but God does. I thank you all in advance.
My life could be better but to be honest, there is nothing wrong. I just hate to wait until there is a Crisis to ask for help. Please keep that in mind and also, if you are having a Crisis, the Man upstairs will answer just the same. Gods clock and time is not related to ours so be sure when you pray friends not to forget. " If it is your will Dear God"..
Thanks everyone and may God honestly give you blessings to you, your Friends and all you come into contact with.
I have lived with no-one to share my life with. I have nothing to offer, nothing to give and nothing anyone wants. I am cursed to walk the land alone. Live alone and ultimately, die alone. I can only cope with this, by being alone.
Inside, is an empty pain that burns everyday. A hole I cannot fill. I hole I know cannot fill. I am in pit of depression fuelled by loneliness.
I lost the love of my life 11 years ago. I lost everything when I lost her. I lost my mind. I lost my soul. I lost my marbles. I had never experienced such pain. I cannot breathe such is the hurt I feel with my desolate life. All I can do is wait until I die.
Noone deserves loneliness,i constantly feel trapped within myself, all I want is to be loved,to have friends or someone to talk to like everyone else,instead I feel constantly isolated,friendless.may you all find true happiness
I've been living with loneliness for years now. I've had off and on relationships, and after my last break up took a turn for the worst. Although I have a better sense of self control, and distractions to keep me mostly entertained. I still feel the cold veil forming behind me ready to devour. Introversion doesn't help, as someone who spends most the year inside (due to weather conditions) I have no way of going out all the time. Even then I mostly use people as a form of distraction and don't put effort into getting to know anyone. I wish I was more of a social butterfly, and had the confidence needed to impress and leave a lasting impression on someone, but I just can't find it. When I try to talk to the few friends I have about what I'm feeling they just don't understand, I usually get a 'things will get better' and 'you just need to try harder" which in-turn, makes me feel worse and more useless and worthless. I never knew a community like this existed, but after finding it and reading articles, I feel like there is a seriously misunderstood group of people here, me included.
Hi. I am 21 and have been lonely ever since. It hurts most of the time feeling like this but sometimes, since I am used to it already, I am able to conquer my fear and enjoy my solitude. I don't have friends but at least I have a sister who I can talk to. Most of the time, I spend my life alone because I know my sister will not always be there for me all the time. I sometimes seek a friend and try my best to communicate my feelings to others but I usually fail to maintain them for long. I guess I have social problems you can say that and I probably need to treat my loneliness whenever possible. I think nobody wants to live alone right? Anyway, I'm still lucky I have a pet dog and having her around makes me feel a little better about myself. I hope other lonely people out there will feel better soon. Not everyone will understand us but I am sure there are many people out there who are willing to stay for a long run. I know exactly how it feels to be left behind and alone in the corner. If there is a way here for us to talk, I am willing to share my story and hear your story as well. Have a good day everyone.
Feel free to join our online support group here: http://support.webofloneliness.com/ You can definitely connect with others and share your story there.
Have you ever just wanted to stop fighting it?
It seems no matter how hard you try the loneliness always comes back. So what's the point? I am at the point where all I can do is embrace it.
I just want to pray for everyone on here that their loneliness (and mine) ends. It's all so sad.
I daydream a lot. And am probably most happy when daydreaming. I dunno I have great friends. But am at uni without many friends. Which is where I spend most of my time...can be kind of lonely, I guess.
I also over think everything. Which isnt great.
Loneliness has stopped me in my tracks,
feels like a wound that will forever stay intact,
Cancer? What did I have what have I done?
Has it been there slowly to be opened as one?
Has my lonely childhood, my isolated family life,
led up to this incredible moment of strife?
Old now, no going back,
no yelling at the "loved ones" who left me like an empty sack,
Thought I was doing well,
hiding my feelings and fighting like hell,
to hold my own,
with my intelligence sown,
Well, all I have left is an empty heart and hands,
a sense of overwhelming failure that I will never be able to understand,
Feels like the death of love,
the love that was once me.
I am new to webofloneliness. I am caring 24/7 for my 84 year old husband who has motor neurone disease. I am 70. I can't get out much and my husband's condition means he can't speak clearly so we are unable to have a conversation. This makes me feel isolated and lonely.
Sorry to hear about your husband's condition. I'm sure he appreciates your help and presence, especially when so many people abandon their family by putting them in an elderly care home where abuse can occur. It takes a lot of strength and compassion to care for him 24/7. God bless you both.
Feeling lonely is not a direct cause of being alone. It’s possible to feel lonely, even in a crowd.
first time,but so relate 2 ALL OF THE ABOVE. your all so very brave,
you stil b around family and b SO very lonely.
I wish I could talk to someone when I'm back from work I wish I had a wife and kids My own family I'm already 35 It's probably too late for it
I'm really scared I'm gonna have to live like this for another 35
Never ever thought I would be writing something like this, on a place like this.
Severe and worsening depression over the last 15 years has taken so much of my life away. And now we have loneliness. The 2 things together I know are going to kill me.
I can feel it coming... the time when the pain is no longer bearable and I will have to bow out. I'm so sorry
Ever since my mom died in December of 2015, nothing feels right, good, or worthwhile.
I was her caregiver for over 15 years 24/7. When she died my heart forever died with her. I had to leave the only home I've ever known, the home I shared with her and now am alone. I cannot use the words "life" or "living" because I am doing neither. Sadness, hopelessness, and depression are all I know. I merely exist. This existence is nothing without her. My so-called friends never visit or call, because I'm disabled I struggle month to month, and hate each and every second of this existence.
I'm so very lonely.
So very heartbroken.
Why must it be this way?
This existence is so pointless, so horrible.
I'm very lonely, but i'm tired of people saying "it's going to be alright, just wait a bit more and everything will fine". I don't want to wait, i think i've waited long enough, it just feels like it's never gonna happen.
LONELINESS IS A KIND OF DEATH
Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-asteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes
I think I'm the cause of my loneliness. I keep everyone away because of laziness. I don't look for happiness in this life. I just want to function.
I used to live with my loneliness. I dldn't have any girlfriends & friends in my life. Nevertheless I have accepted that I am supposed to live that way forever. I am very asocial & introverted. I don't like talking with people. Yet, I sometimes crave for some intellectual human contacts. I don't think that people who is going to get into my life(either a partner or friends) will stay longer in my life. I,however , am a pessimist person full of dark thoughts. This is the reason, I started to write all my thoughts on a little notebook. I have discovered that more than half of them are about me being lonely, that how social isolation is actually good,that how relationships & women are wicked, that I love little girls, etc... I am unfriendly towards people in my life. I don't have anyone to talk to dearly. I am 22 years old and I already think that I have missed the bandwagon.
I am isolated and alone. I am in a situation which I cannot get out of for the next five months. The people I love and want to be with are over 1,000 miles away. I just need a hug but the people here hate me
Wow. What a great site! After reading quite a few comments I find it ironic that there is a whole community out there that knows exactly how each other feels, can relate to each other and understands each other yet we all feel alone.
Im a sensitive introvert that has to spend alot of time surrounded by thick skinned, competetive, egotistical extroverts and im often left feeling alone. Mainly because I cant relate to their behaviour and values. Those seem to be society's ideals and norms and if you dont fit that mould then you end up feeling very alone, different or inadequate in a fundamental way. Im sure lots of people can also relate to that situation and its really important that there are platforms like this to confirm and reassure kindred spirits that were not alone in the way we feel and experience our life. Were not inadequate or lacking. We just have a different internal makeup to the people with the loudest, most aggressive voices. We actually probably have more insight and understanding than those people. Love to you all x
Long term sufferer of social anxiety, an intrusive thought issue I've had diagnosed as being part of OCD and probable borderline traits. All this makes me feel abnormal - along with problems trusting people - which all lead to loneliness. I'm 38 due to turn 39 in the not super far away future and also worry at the rate things are going that things are just never going to change for me.