Never Knowing

 U will never know,

How ugly I feel inside.

To just sit here one day,

 And lay down and cry.

When some people call me mean names,

It seems like I don't care.

But really,

The feelings of hurt are always there.

People say that I am not ugly,

And that I am wrong.

But it's hard to agree,

After so long.

U will never know the feelings,

That have been here for years.

These feelings,

That have caused most of my tears.

U will never know the feeling,

Of not being loved.

To sit there and cry,

To be yelled at and shoved.

I want you,

To just be there for me.

Because this will take a while,

For me to be free.

To be free from the feeling inside of me,

The feeling of being ugly.

Please, I know u will never know,

But understand I won't let it show.

Beneath my smiles, laughter and cheers,

There is a person inside that fears.

Of being lonely and not having anybody.

Vicky S. 2001